The challenge for which this story was written requires the writer to pick a ficly and a ficlet with the same number, and write a story combining elements from each of the original two stories.
I picked number 240. Basically, I started at 1 and kept going up until I found a pair of stories that inspired me. This was a good excuse to read the oldest ficlies.
Ficly #240 is “Everyone has a world inside them” by Okelay. Ficlet #240 is “Why are we on a boat?” by Ethyachk. Go and read them both.
I must admit that I meant for people to pick a random number and make do with what they found, rather than cherry-pick a pair of combinable ficlets…but on the other hand, anything that gets people reading the old stuff is a good thing.
Okay, took me a bit to follow. Really neat story idea, especially considering how the ficly came about. The dialog didn’t wow me. It wasn’t bad, just if I was going to pick an area for improvement, that would be it. This is especially so since it’s supposed to be in a metaphorical dream.
The problem with dialogue is that it doesn’t compress easily, because people don’t really talk in such a compressed way. I took the dialogue from Ethyachk’s original ficlet and squeezed it down into just three lines as best I could.
The metaphor of a world representing the human mind is by no means new to me, for example in the nineties I wrote a poem entitled “A World Within Your Mind”. But I think this is the first time I’ve presented it in the context of some form of telepathic power.
i like the telepathic power, it adds depth and meaning to the rocking boat in the sea and why ‘he’ is there. this could have a few sequels.. does he ever change the person? or do they ‘hear voices’ and go insane?
note.. “telepathy doesn’t work like people think” implies he has used it, also “I’ve never done much with this gift, but lately I’ve been wondering if I can use it to help people.” means he’s done SOMETHING in the past.. but yes, you’re right, he is exploring how to help people, and my sequel implies that he has done this many times before. So it must be an ability he was born with, however, has never thought about the implications.
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