Decently written. There’s something unsatisfying about it though – you don’t offer a twist so much as a bit of suprise information. Once the surprise is revealed, we realise that nothing’s really happened or changed in the story. Which makes it feel like an opening rather than a story.

Fun perspective. I had been imagining the classic woeful tale of the sickly child right up until about half way through that middle paragraph.
I think the twist worked fairly well though, once I went back to reread the first sentence of the second paragraph about what he wanted to do. It certainly puts that in a different context.

It’s definitely an opening as Coccinella suggests…

However, I can’t see that as a bad thing on a site where offering open-ended ideas so that people can take the idea and run with it is part of what we’re supposed to be doing.