The living room window exploded in a shower of glass and a somersaulting Ninja. James was unarmed, wearing his work clothes, and in no way sober enough for a Ninja battle. Contemplation of escape was cemented into desire when three more Ninja sprang into the room.

He rolled, avoiding foot, fist, and deadly weaponry. Sprinting down the hallway, a shuriken sank into his shoulder. The back door flew from its hinges as he spilled into the backyard. Shuriken whizzed past him as he reached the tool shed. James turned to see his pursuers while locking himself inside. They were moving fast and angry. He didn’t have much time.

“There’s no way out of there,” the head Ninja said, “we have him.”
“Cowardly fool,” another Ninja said, “he chooses to die like a rabbit instead of a man.”

The doors of the shed flew open, and a flaming man came bursting out. He ran, engulfed in flame, straight at them. They scattered in fear. James escaped them with minor burns.

“Ninjas can’t catch you if you’re on fire.” James chuckled.