What he wanted was a sword, or a phaser, or a talking car. He’d even settle for a PDA he could use to hack into the mainframe. Or even the skills needed to hack into a mainframe.

Here’s what he had: week old coconut macaroons and too much gel in his hair.

Of course that would be no match against an evil wizard. Or an alien spaceships. Or a foreign government holding him illegally.

They barely helped in the situation he was in.

He was visiting Grandma.