Felt so serious at first, and then turned a bit silly, not that there’s necessarily a problem with that. I thought the first paragraph did a good job of dropping in the sci-fi elements to let us know where this tale is set.
The beheading felt kind of sudden, as it was supposed to be, but I think a comma to correct that being a run-on would actually help the read go more smoothly. As is, it feels rushed, when really it isn’t.

Done and done. Thanks! And yes, it was meant to seem serious and suddenly be silly. Whether that works is open for debate but that was the intent.

I can’t believe you actually pulled off Space Pirates vs. Space Ninjas. Fuckin awesome