It’s not that a great story, I had to do a lot of fixing up with it. And I also wrote it when I was 17, so time has gone by.

so the gift was wrapped and outside? then your father ruins the joyful moment by suffocating mysteriously? two very odd occurrences, it’s like a dream, rather than believable. i want to wake up!

Well that’s a horrible Christmas day. It has a dreamy quality to it, like recalled through a slight veil of suppression or repression. Some run-on sentences take away a bit from the power of it.

Oh, and did you mean ‘Fateful’ day?