Hey, nice peice but you cut the action a little, I think, by having some sentences too long or complicated.
The road up which tomorrow we would advance could be better like The road which we advance up tomorrow

And you do kill the tension with responded one of the men approaching me.
Something a lot shorter such as was the response would keep the thrills high.

It did have a nice gloomy atmosphere though, which was great, just a little work and it would be perfect

S.J.

Thank you for giving me the motivation to modify the story. I think it is improved somewhat.

Yep definitely a little smoother. :)

S.J.

Absract,

Your move.

RYD