Well, that was rather shocking!

:)

Only thing I’d suggest is not repeating the word shorted in the same sentence put it “it shocked me” maybe?

S.J.

interesting story! i’m intrigued.

I agree with SJ on the last sentence says the same thing twice, and it’s redundant. (hehe) … Otherwise, it’s a good story.

yeah just end it after the word pain.
what a twist!

Thanks guys! Just noticed the error.