As my foot rises, it falls back down to the floor beneath it; I know I am at the top of the stairs. I open my eyes and, with some effort, finally get my hand to detach from the railing. My eyes scan the catwalk, finding another grey door at the other end of the building, no doubt in my mind that there is a flight of stairs behind it that will lead me up to the world above. As I begin to walk I can feel the sadness growing within my chest. Any second now tears will begin to seep down my face. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears. Because I know that if I let myself cry, it will give me a chance to rethink what I am about to do and that is something I am not willing myself to do.
I snap my eyes open, angry and impatient. I give up and begin running the rest of the way, through the door and up the stairs. I stumble out onto the roof, a rush of cold night air and the sounds of the cars below crash into me. I take a few steps out and survey the roof, letting the cold air numb my face.

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