My names Jed. It’s December of the year 2012, and for the last few months the country has slowly fallen into anarchy…hold on…alright, fuckin kids tried to steal my car. Had to show em old faithful (my .50 cal). So the worlds ending and such right? What do I do? I run up my credit card bill. I buy a new house, try new activities I never thought I’d have the balls to do. You know I sent that text message “Yo grl when can I tap that?” to all the women I know, and only a handful said yes, but the rest were all like “oo i would if u werent married” And I was like “ah come on” But they refused. So I just banged the women who said yes. I also tried fish. Hated it. Then I tried robbing a bank, but it had already been robbed-3 times that day. So i stopped trying to do that. I moved onto blowing things up, I mean, epic status. I went to this gas station and put in my credit card (part of how I boosted up my bill) and just let the pumps run into barrels and a semi I stole. Then I lit a match and BOOM! shit was epic.

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