Status Quo

I’m going out of my mind. But you already knew that, I’m here talking to you. It took a long time to realize it, but I live in a constant state of depression, interspersed with brief periods of distraction. No happiness, no joy, no reason for me to go to work each day and do my job. Social pariah, secret self loathing sinner. No drive, impetus, motivation. One thing in my life that I can think of right now that I truly want. Heh, and it’s not even really in my life, I just wish it to be. I know my problems and yet I do nothing — NOTHING — to change it. Why not? Heh, that’s one of my problems. Vicious cirle, right? When you’ve got a decade and a half of hating yourself under your belt, it’s really tough to believe in yourself. Look at that, I even distance myself from my problems (another pathetic attempt to ignore them) by talking about them in the second person perspective. Well, fuck you. I’m done.

He took one last look in the mirror, then shut off the light and left.

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