just some minor editing… need a comma between “permit” and “officer”. Also, need to check the space after the second underline for it to italize correctly. Also, might I suggest you italize the last sentence, instead of quotation marks, unless you intend for her to say it outloud.
Overall, a good story, and great cliffhanger ending.

Thanks Krulltar, edits made. The last part is definitely intended to be out loud though ;)