I don’t like cemeteries. I found this out at my Aunt Kara’s funeral. Aunt Kara was a crazy woman who I only saw about twice a year, but I still had to go to her funeral, and worse yet: I had to give a eulogy. Seeing as I was one of her only living relatives, (my family is notorious for dying) this was expected. Still, what do you say about a person who calls you by your little sister’s name and gives you Hanes Her Way underwear for Christmas? Normally, I wouldn’t have minded being called by the wrong name, or the panties, but I’m a guy. Which is exactly why I was stuck on what to say. I couldn’t go in there and announce, “My aunt was a great woman, who gave me panties that clung in all the right places,” could I?