“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I’m happy to report most of the turbulence seems to be behind us, and we’re back at a cruising altitude now. The rest of your flight looks like it should be fairly smooth.

“Unfortunately, it looks like we’re not going to make it to our destination, today. As you might imagine, this is due to spatial flux caused by the Proxima Centaurian spacecraft that was over London until just a few minutes ago. Their matter reorganization array has shifted our planet’s geography, so London is no longer there.

“As we do not have enough fuel to turn back now, we are going to proceed on to London’s former location, which seems to now be occupied by Los Angeles, formerly of California. London, meanwhile, is reported to have materialized in Peru, so please talk to your boarding agent about catching a connecting flight. If you were proceeding on to Tokyo with us, it’s expected to rematerialize in about 320 minutes.

“Please, now, sit back and enjoy your flight.”