I am the high priest of everlasting fecility of frigidity, formerly know as Al Gore. Thanks to my partnership with Big Ass Fans and Edy’s Ice Cream, we are closer to achieving our goal of pureness. However, you can never be too careful. Therefore, in a continuing effort to combat the emerging threat of global warming, though the convient truth is the planet now is actually on the brink of new ice age thanks to my extraordinary revolutionary works, partnership with the arch dieces of Polar Ice. We can never be too careful; therefore, as the clock strikes midnight I ask you, my friends, that each of take of the permafost elixir frozen carbon dioxide provided to you. Take of this each of you, and your body will radiate forever in this frozen state collectively bringing the temperature of our world down an 2.5 degrees. It is this beautfiul sacrfice that will alas make you whole and bring your body/mind/spirit together with fecility of frigidity in paradise.