I couldn’t fit it all in, so part one is on this link http://ficly.com/stories/9379
thanks :)

Great ending! The story as whole is really descriptive and rather interesting. You’ve gone into a lot of detail and made it enjoyable for the reader. Well done! :)

The only thing I would say is that you have reffered to coffee twice.

Love the irony of the last sentence.
Over all this story was well written.
The only thing that I’d like to give advice on is instead of saying Brooke every time you want to refer to her. (Which is a lot since shes the main character.) You should put “she” every once in awhile to break it up. It’ll save you letters too.

Thanksguys :) :D

I bet she doesn’t get very far ;)

Where are her siblings now and her mom I wonder? hmm. I like that she just walks off, but it won’t be that easy.

I love stories that show us how we should live, rather than how we do live. I love how the sunshine embraces her on her return.

Yeaah :) thanks for the comments :) and elshahawk, i havent decided yet :)

I liked your story. One thing I picked up is with the alcoholic mom – maybe use a different word to describe her initially, as the action of throwing back vodka after vodka and having a joint tells us that she is an addict.

I would have gone for something like “While her slatternly mother”, just to add a bit more colour.

But quite a good read, really :-)

The last piece did not quite fit. I would have just left it at the “glorious sunshine” sentence.