In a coal-powered one-way spaceflight, a young milquetoast office drone stumbles across an exiled angel which spurs him into conflict with a sneering wizard, with the help of a girl who’s always loved him and her discomfort in formal wear, culminating in a daring rescue preceding a giant explosion.

Naturally.

That’s a seriously convoluted storyline.

But I like your take on it, and the hissing steam valves in the room – it felt authentic.

i think i can make it work. i just watched the end of Hellboy II. Some goo steampunk visuals there. I’ll see how I can work them in.

I love the detail of his glasses fogging up. To be honest, I think that may have been what drew me in and made me want to read this whole story.

My only suggestion would be that you have “almost” twice in your second sentence, which is a bit much.

thanks CB. edited.

Made me think of ‘The Mutant Chronicles’, rather cheesy made-for-TV movie that it was. Still, definitely a good job getting across the milquetoast and drudgery bits to the character and his existence.

Don’t you love the wondermark prompts? :)
Astronaut/fireman (as they call those in charge of boilers) You would have to live near the boiler in that ship, it’s ALL boiler! And the fact that he is still in the mail room, no intercoms here!, is just crazy. Way to go with this prompt!

Its fun how you can put a piece of your life into a story. This is so well written.