I love the goon/enforcer type of body guard stereotype, and the brass knuckles sentence is over-the-top outstanding. But I had to chuckle when I read the title, because Rusty Grotto would be a great pornstar name.

It is not a porn name! Okay, maybe it would be, but it wasn’t intended as such.

Total porn name. But definitely interesting. Though you didn’t say it, in my head Rusty is definitely a typical 300 pounder. Short, fat, and fights dirty. Of course, you could have meant for him to be 300 pounds of muscle.

I envisioned him like you did DH, because I know a guy like that…short, stout, no neck, think hands…he’s in the state pen now for attempted murder with pool stick.

I don’t think it’s possible to be 5’2" and 300 lbs of muscle. There’d have to be a fair amount of fat in there, too, as the other guys pictured him.

I have to go along with the guys on this THX have You seen a 5.2 , 300lbs of muscle? make him 5.12 you know you wanted to. Overall a viable nasty man saga. I cringed at the brass knuckles hitting on bone and flesh. Micky Malone was taller and slimmer. oh I get it….sorry.

I love the tone of this and the insight “it’s always the tall ones.” But the last line was the clincher.

a laughed out loud a the brass knuckles.

Brass knuckles are funny when they hit something unexpectedly hard, especially if it leaves a nice ringing in the air after impact. Just sayin’.

BTW, total porn star name.

Congrats on being featured!

Really fun piece. Looks like I’m alone in thinking that the brass knuckles are on the end of the brass arm of an android…

There’s a twist to your tale.

I like that. 5’2" tall and 300 pounds of clockwork machinery.

Dude totally! 5’2" and 300 lbs of muscle? No. 5’2" and 300 lbs of gears, springs, cogs, and clockworks? Yes!!

Pure funnery. To be honest, I pictured a sort of modern street-wise Gimli.

This is awesome. For some reason, I pictured this happening in 1920’s Manhattan outside of a nightclub full of cigar smoke!