The Happy Goat Bible: Genesis Part 1
In the beginning, there was nothing, and there was the farm. Go(at)d was not happy with this farm. The cows that ruled the farm were unjust and corrupt, and they were unfair to the other animals.
On the first day, Go(at)d made the farmer. The farmer was a tall, brown haired gentleman who put the cows back in their place.
On the second day, Go(at)d made the boundary fence. The fence kept all those in, in and kept all those out, out. It kept the animals safe from the inhospitable wasteland beyond. It is now referred to as New Zealand.
On the third day, Go(at)d made the Royal Guard. A team of elite military goats who’s only job is to protect the standing Goat monarch.
On the last day, Go(at)d made the Happy Goat. His representative on Earth. He made him from the bark of a willow tree, which was in the middle of the farm.