If I was to walk past you on the street, the first thing you might think is That guy has a big fucking head.

You’d be right, of course. It’s a big head. And this over-sized cranium has shaped my life in many ways. From my birth, sorry Mom, to my boxing career. I would love to tell you that I had a large head that was filled by a gigantic highly efficient brain. That simply isn’t the case. Near as the x-rays can tell, I’ve just got an abnormally large head with a thickened skull.

The thickened skull means I can manage a headbutt that would drop God himself. It also means that I can soak up a stunning amount of physical impacts without serious issues. This is extremely useful in boxing. When you have a head this big, you’re not doing a lot of ducking and dodging in the ring.

I’ve never been much with the ladies. I had to have a helmet specially ordered in the military. Hats that will stretch over my dome are equally as rare as they are ugly. Male pattern baldness becomes extremely apparent at this scale.