Now you went to third person and then back to first in the course of the same ficlet. :)

Grr, yeah. :P I guess I do it without thinking, sometimes. I’ll fix.

Better?

Except that you have him narrating what Jackie was thinking (“My mindscape appeared to Jackie like…”). Gotta watch that. :)

Well, when Michael stepped into Jackie’s mindscape, they saw it the same way. And if I had split off to say “Jackie saw blah blah blah”, then it would have resulted in person-switching.