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ahobday

Joined June 2009.

21 stories, 0 challenges, 6 comments, and 0 friends

Squirrel lover.

Stories

  1. Our Intrepid Adventurer - Part 2

    But look! Who is this entering the throne room? It’s our intrepid adventurer, Burt! He has managed to swim to the bottom of the very cold lake, and survived the deadly traps in the halls of the castle. He walks up to the throne directly and sits ...

  2. Our Intrepid Adventurer - Part 1

    At the bottom of a very cold lake there is a large cavern. It is filled with air and not water. In the middle of the cavern sits a very old and very large castle. Don’t ask me how it got there. No-one knows, not even me. In the middle of the cast...

  3. Choosing a battleground

    Avebury is an idyllic village in the English countryside. From every angle it is a colourful and warm place. A sedate life brings easy smiles to its residents, and the atmosphere is at the same time calming and invigorating. But the village’s inn...

  4. No Matter How Many

    Shrill watched the great war ships as they bobbed towards land for a while, and then stepped down from the wall. “There must be something we can do!” His commanding officer, a man with more scars than years, laid a heavily gloved hand on hi...

  5. I don't even know what this story is about.

    I argued with my wife, then decided that I wasn’t living life how I ought to. I went to a bar, had too much to drink, and got into a fist fight with some guy who really only cared about keeping my groping hands off of his girlfriend. His intentio...

  6. Another World (Mature)

  7. An Attempt At Fantasy, Part 2

    The overseer was indignant. “Our part in this war is in response to the provocation of our enemies. We did not wish to fight.” The Arbiter’s helmed head turned towards the scene of the battle, a mile away. “Your forces are stron...

  8. An Attempt At Fantasy, Part 1

    Dark specks briefly revealed themselves amongst the clouds: Dragons, mopping up troops on the salt flat below, bursts of flame blossoming from the skies. The overseer was considering whether he should feel proud of his tactical accomplishments when a b...

  9. Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 5

    If you want to be a criminal, you should dress nicely. Everyone’s suspicious of a kid wearing a hood and holding a baseball bat, because that’s what you expect from a criminal. Dress, talk and act like an ordinary citizen, and before the vi...

  10. Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 4 (Mature)

  11. Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 3

    What you have to understand about crime is that thinking outside the box helps you from getting nicked. I wasn’t born a criminal. I didn’t fall out of my mother’s vagina waving a sawn-off and asking for the doctor’s wallet. You ...

  12. Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 2

    So what’s the secret to our success? Apart from the fact that I’m a criminal fucking mastermind, the reason we do very well for ourselves in what is otherwise a chaotic underworld is the amount of sleep we get. Not all the time, you silly n...

  13. Read In A Cockney Accent, Part 1

    First of all, you have to realise something. The three of us are in it for the money, like anyone else. But we never do jobs over a certain size. If some fucking idiot rips off a bank for a cool million, you’d better believe that it’s going...

  14. Sightless

    The room was pitch black, but the cold metal on the table was definitely a gun. The voice was also definitely a voice, clear and soft on some invisible speaker. The calm tone was infuriating. “Consider it an experiment in human nature, Dr. Steven...

  15. The New Universe Order

    Every planet has a specific purpose. Asop-5 is a residential planet. If any citizen not assigned labour there tries working whilst on the planet, they would be fined so many credits their bank accounts would be sore. To work, you have to go to a planet...

  16. Name Allocation Service

    The more-than-attractive woman twinkled at him from behind the glass screen. Her seat had been adjusted so that she was the exact same height as all of her colleagues. The effect was unsettling. “Good day sir! Are you here to pick a name today?&#...

  17. What a useless invention!

    To Thomas, it looked like some kind of squat rocket, but without a nose. A computer screen, relatively tiny, adorned the front, along with a small black keyboard. “What is it?” “A Changer!” squealed his always eccentric friend, ...

  18. What's That, Doc?

    My girlfriend looked like she was about to tell me she was pregnant. “Mark, I’m pregnant.” Shit. I owed Jim five bucks. “But, there’s something else.” My attention was dragged back from thinking about how many beers ...

  19. Superhero Convention

    “So, what’s your power?” James looked at the eager face in front of him and sighed quietly. He hated questions like this. He only came here for the free food, which was provided by the city, who relied on the heroes every time the pol...

  20. ZOMBIES!

    The door was several inches of pristine steel. Even still, there was a distant thunder as the creature on the other side hammered on the door as hard as it could. John’s eyes were dragged back to his friend by a new sound. A low groan from a thro...

  21. '58 Unicorn

    The garage door moved upwards in jerking movements, slowly revealing Jim’s brand new ride. Once Bob saw it, his eyes went wide. “Wow. Nice ride. What is this, a ’62?” Jim shook his head and chuckled, the kind of chuckle you̵...

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