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Bill Hartzia

Joined May 2009.

35 stories, 0 challenges, 21 comments, and 0 friends

just another surfer of the sea of dreams, dipping into the waves from time to time and hauling the catch to the shore

Stories

  1. The icing on the cake

    As the judges approached table fifteen the Patissier and Chef both paused, looking at the three-tier wonder on the table. The cakes had been carved and artfully glued together with sugarpaste and layered over with white fondant. Snowmen partied, some f...

  2. Come as you were

    The Misktonic University ‘Come as you were’ reincarnation-club dance had been going very well indeed. There were three Cleopatras present, but they had conferred in one of the girl’s bathrooms and come out and announced that they were...

  3. (God)Father Lachaise

    “It is a very old graveyard, and we must respect both its customs and its modern problems. So you will share.” The man who had introduced himself to myself and my brother in a forced-sounding Italian accent waved a sub-machine casually in o...

  4. Rebecca

    Last night I dreamed I came again to Manderley. The car glided up the drive, the rhododendrons crowding in on either side, dark and monstrous like the moonless night. The house reared up before me, crenellated and bespired, a gothic imagining of the ho...

  5. Rebecca

    Last night I dreamed I came again to Manderley. The car glided up the drive, the rhododendrons crowding in on either side, dark and monstrous like the moonless night. The house reared up before me, crenellated and bespired, a gothic imagining of the ho...

  6. The Church of the Derived Mind

    The celebrant is wearing a mumu. Everyone else is wearing a sensible, gore-concealing black robe and the celebrant is in a pastel-blue mumu. We’re treading slowly around the altar, our voices raised in one of those throat-twisting chants that ben...

  7. Wakeman's Strategy

    The hall was quiet save for the gentle squeaks and creaks of the chairs as the audience leaned forward, studying both of the players, the board, and the large plasma screens that showed the auxiliary games, only two of which were played concurrently. W...

  8. Mirror, mirror

    “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” The evil Princess gazed hopefully into the swirling mists of the strange mirror. For a moment they swirled faster, then they clarified into an aerial view of the castle. ...

  9. Everything's Gone!

    “Welcome to Everything’s Gone! the gameshow that was burgled one hour before going on air! To delight and entertain our now-captive studio audience we’ve locked all the doors and will be asking probing and embarrassing questions of ou...

  10. Rebecca Biscuit

    Last night I dreamed I came again to Manderley. I found myself walking up the long drive to the house, clutching in my hand a torn and empty packet of cookies. They were the ones that the housekeeper, Mrs. Dante, had pressed upon me as I’d left t...

  11. Winter grűßt mich

    Der Wind blies kälter Meine Finger werden blau Der Winter grűßt mich Translation: The wind blows colder My fingers are turning blue Winter salutes me (The last line is literally “Winter greets me” but it’s a syllable too short for ...

  12. Brother Mica

    Brother Mica smiled serenely as he walked down the aisle to the pulpit. His sandals slapped down in a comforting rhythm against the stone slabs flooring the cathedral and his habit rustled gently against him, like the sussuration of wind in the leaves ...

  13. The stagecoach (Mature)

  14. The Messenger

    Hermes is smoking, leaning against the door and watching me work. Every so often the door glitches, a sharp blue judder than runs around the frame, reminding me that it’s not a real door, it’s an informational construct, a way into the data...

  15. Another dark day

    It only took four tries to get my key in the lock this time, and I heard the comforting snick as I turned the key and let myself in. I pushed the door shut behind me and leant sideways against the wall. I was hot, sweaty, out of breath, but elated. I&#...

  16. Apple crumble

    Someone knocked at the door, so I dusted the flour from my hands as best I could, picked up the rolling pin, and headed, bent nearly double and cursing, down the hallway to open it. Outside was stood an arrogant woman badly disguised as an apple seller...

  17. Marta goes shopping

    Marta paused outside the Justice Arena, listening to the cries of pain. There were a few cheers now and then but they were thin and muted; clearly the jury-dience had few members today. Shaking her head at the folly of those who entrusted their rights ...

  18. Jennifer Seelendieb

    “I never had holes in my memories,” said Jennifer, possibly talking to the sexy stranger. “I always had memories in my holes. I’ve been created so many times, and always for the same reason and in the same way. I’ve never ...

  19. Heisinger Geometry

    “…and that causes position and momentum to decouple which increases Planck’s constant locally.” “But what does that do to the Uncertainty Principle?” asked Jo-Beth, gazing at Dr. Rimini with awe and terror mingled. &...

  20. Eulogy

    Alas, poor Yorick’s skull, I knew you well. You served me long and faithfully, sitting patiently on my desk while dribbly candles burned down to stumps atop you. You never complained about the wax that ran through your eye sockets or mounded up w...

  21. A gentleman's excuse me

    Myriad voices chuckled and murmured, glasses clinked against each other, and whenever the door to the smoking room opened tobacco teased the air briefly. Esteban guarding the elephant-foot umbrella stand holding a crystal goblet of sparkling water, pre...

  22. A company man

    “…and this will be your office,” said Jim, smiling like a lizard: all tongue and no teeth. Alex looked around, puzzled. They were sharing the elevator which was shaking a little as it ascended. “Where?” he said, checking w...

  23. Pinestein's folly

    Poison Ivy slithered along the corridor, rustling softly as she skated over ventilation gratings. Behind her, his eyes still wide with awe, walked Timmy, the young boy who had won the science journalism competition. He was on his way to claim his prize...

  24. Fairies

    Titania pushed another bundle of items across the checkout scanner. The checkout beeped out the first four bars of Greensleeves, not that the customers notice she thought, and she smiled at the customer, glamouring him instantly. “How much?”...

  25. Mulberry Farm

    Soft wind blew through the trees that lined the drive of Mulberry farm stirring a soothing sussuration. To the vet’s surprise though, there was a body lying halfway down the drive, splayed across the way in a defensive posture, its head turned to...

  26. Miss Featherstonehaugh

    The thunder ran through the house like a hyperactive two-year old, peeking into things and under things, careering round corners and scaring the cat. Miss Featherstonehaugh looked up from her tatting and frowned, her delicate gold-framed spectacles sli...

  27. Gravedancers

    Gravedancers are one of the seven castes of professional mourners that developed as a direct result of reality television shows such as Big Mother, I’m a Celebrity so Get me a Beer, and All-naked Castaway with the Developmentally Challenged. Grav...

  28. The tomb of Nektah

    Professor Lebnoch finished chanting. Dust sparkled in the candle-lit tomb as it danced in the air, and the chill of the ancient stones was as far removed from the heat of the Egyptian desert as it could get. As the echoes of the chant died away, reverb...

  29. Needlepoint

    I dive towards the white, straight and narrow, steely and determined. As I get closer, details resolve; lines of colour grow huge and then vanish, replaced the pure white that is my target. Closer still and now I can see the warp and weft of what is in...

  30. After the main sequence

    Haruhiko paused outside the house, hearing the door close behind him. Here, away from the streetlights, the world was claret. It was like living in a darkroom. The crimson light made his eyes itch and ache, it felt like he was always straining to see t...

Bill Hartzia's Followers (11)

  • g²LaPianistaIrlandesa
  • Byn
  • Archi Teuthis
  • Les Orchard
  • Scheherazade
  • scratch'n'scrawl
  • Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)
  • Sam Ervin
  • B. Booth
  • StudMuffin (LoA)
  • Krulltar