these are your nuts, sir

Joined June 2009 and calls I Said Shut Up home.

10 stories, 0 challenges, 30 comments, and 0 friends



  1. Resale Value

    Packed up and ready for the ol’ collection dumpster. I bet I’m losing about something shy of 400 bucks on this but that’s the burden of pragmatism. How do you sell all those pants? Drive to fourteen different locations and sell differ...

  2. A Treatise on Doing Anything

    Put your balls on ice for a second. There’s no skirting about, it’s time to take inventory. Don’t think for one second self aggrandizing and self hate are two sides to the coin of success. People with measured success love themselves,...

  3. Nothing But The Hits

    The clock was ticking. She’d be back any minute and they’d have to fucking scram. They’d be taken as a buncha dirty cokeheads who’d long forgot the concept of showering or at minimum proper hair care. Wouldn’t do. “A...

  4. Traversing Bodies of Water

    “Come, curse with me. We’ve but moments.” It was morning and the sea had come to collect them into its churning angry black marble expanse. No contrivances of faith in the face of the end for men of the sea. It was unbecoming. “...

  5. for want of a snorkel

    “Therer’s something wrong here. Why do I feel like I’ve seen this before?” she said, setting the glass on the coaster. “It’s the fixed camera angles. It’s usually employed in Wes Anderson films.” he said....

  6. Hung, Drawn and Quartered (Mature)

  7. Primetime Cartoons

    It’s a Tuesday. The room’s awfully green. A lobby. Kid looks over at the girl across from him with a big smirk on his face as the bear is smacked across the face with a fish, and they’re both giggling. The television screen lights up ...

  8. Maw (Mature)

  9. Dead Pixels and Canned Meat (Mature)

  10. The Ring (of Fire) (Mature)

these are your nuts, sir's Followers (10)

  • YaYa
  • animal companion
  • Centipede Damascus
  • Usagi
  • Spiderj
  • Skull Man
  • Quetzi
  • Ranx
  • naporeon
  • StudMuffin (LoA)