A Walk To Remember

Avatar Author: thelostgirl I'm a writer from Northern Ireland who enjoys the works of Neil Gaiman, Diana Wynne Jones, Erin Morgenstern and Laini Taylor. I love to listen to Mumford & Sons, the Lumineers and Of Monsters & Men while I write. Read Bio

We were arm in arm, walking alongside the river. The moon was perfectly reflected on the surface of the water. I snuggled close into you to keep warm and you, being the gentleman that you are, offered me your coat.
Our perfect moment but it didn’t last.
I heard his footsteps before you did, saw the glint of his gun. A blast of fear shot through me but I wasn’t afraid for myself. I was afraid for you.
He turned you around by the shoulder, pressed the gun into your stomach. I heard him demand money. You gave him everything we had, begged him not to hurt us. It seemed to play out in slow motion. It felt like a movie I had seen a thousand times before. I knew how it would end.
He tried to take me away from you, not satisfied with having stolen from us, but you wouldn’t let him. He was aiming for you when he fired. The bullet found me instead.
I fell so slowly it seemed to take an age to reach the ground. Your scream followed me down and down until I couldn’t hear you anymore.
I’m sorry I died in your arms.

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Comments (13 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Horrorfan13

    Oooo, I like this! Especially the last line. Because we all would apologize for something like that if we could. Romantic, but tragic.

  2. Avatar Emma Loopa

    I loved this! You should write a prequel about the gunman or the gentlemans view.

  3. Avatar tas_13

    whoa,terrifying, but i like it..

  4. Avatar Violet Turner

    You capture the slow motion with your writing beautifully.

  5. Avatar thelostgirl

    Thanks everyone :)

  6. Avatar tinkerbelle

    This is beautiful – no other word for it! Loved it! amazing entry!

  7. Avatar The Silence [All By Myself] {LoA}

    Makes me think of all the murders you hear on the news that no one seems to care too much about. The way you wrote this makes me care more about them now. Simply flawless.

  8. Avatar Saint Chuck

    Very nicely written, the last line perfectly sums up the story and all the feelings it contains. Well done!

  9. Avatar Sarah Jane

    Ouch, the last line. That stings. Seriously good job though! I quite liked this. :)

  10. Avatar rmarkyates

    Great build and haunting last line. Kicks it right out of the park!

  11. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Painful, and I think you did a good job with the mood, though I can’t say how. It just had this sort of dreamy, out-of-body feel to it.

  12. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    i agree with THX, very dramatic and dreamy piece.

  13. Avatar Krulltar

    Not much more to be said, the other comments sum it up.

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