Hit and Run

Avatar Author: Francis James This is my redemption My last battle My last fight My last dying dream This is where it ends I will write one last story and then my dream of a writer shall no longer exist I plan to go more towards cooking th... Read Bio

“Is he breathing?” Mindy asked.

“How the hell I’m I supposed to know I’m not a doctor?”

“Well check his pulse.”

“Like I’m going to bend over and get my dress dirty, you can forget it Mindy.” Cindy rolled her eyes to express her displeasure.

“You can be a real bitch sometimes.”

Mindy pushed Cindy out of her way and walked towards the man lying on the side of the road. She knelt down to feel the man’s wrist, only to feel a slight pulse. “I think he is still alive, we got to help him.”

Cindy sighed at the request. “You know what Mindy, I only liked you to sleep with your father and guess what he isn’t what I thought a young male doctor would be.” Cindy walked to her car in her bright red heels, with a white short skirt and a low cut shirt. She slipped in a Porsche 911 and sped down the highway with the front bumper hanging off.

“Fuck you.” Mindy said as she watched Cindy drive away.

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  1. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Ouch. Like the double meaning in the title, considering Cindy drops this bitchy bombshell and then speeds off… Clever.

    A few things that could be cleaned up:

    1) In the second line I think you mean ’i’m’ not ‘am’, and again in the fourth.

    2) In the sixth paragraph, ‘the man’ would make more sense than ‘a man’.. Unless there’s more than one man!?

    3) Later in that paragraph ‘feel the man’s wrist’ flows better than ‘feel the wrist of the man’… Feels a bit stiff.

    4) Fuck me? No no no – ‘Fuck you!’ Much more anger there surely?

    So only a couple of things, enjoyed it generally, nice idea… If a bit MTV… MH :)

  2. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    unless she really likes Cindy and wants her.. then the comment makes sense. Although she slept with her father, which is a turn off, I’d think..
    I had to read it through twice to get that.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    oh wait, you changed it

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