Alien FAQ

Avatar Author: kaellinn18 Follow me on Twitter: I love to write. One of my life goals is to write a novel, but right now work, church, and family take up most of my spare time. This site helps me scratch that writi... Read Bio

1. Do aliens really exist?

Of course! Shyamalan cast us in Signs, didn’t he? I thought Klarg’s performance, in particular, was spectacular.

2. What’s with the abductions?

Oh, man, are they still doing that? Well, back when I was in school, the upperclassmen would always get a group of freshman, get them wasted on Goldschl├Ąger, and then take them out in a saucer and make them abduct random people. I’m not sure who was more freaked out, you guys or the undergrads. Classic!

3. And the anal probes?

It was a lot of Goldschl├Ąger.

4. How come you don’t give us any of your cool technology?

Where do you think Apple gets their stuff? The iPhone? That’s all us, man. You’re welcome.

5. Are you going to attack Earth?

Absolutely. Independence Day was based off of an actual battle plan. Yeah, uploading a virus to our mothership with a Mac doesn’t seem so far-fetched now, does it? Of course, once we get that security hole patched, we’re going to obliterate you all.

Hahaha, I’m just messing with you.


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Comments (6 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar J. A. Keane

    (Laughing My Bloody Ass Off Hysterically And Rolling Around On The Floor)!!!
    The funniest thing I’ve read on Ficly yet!
    Deary me, I’ve got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!

  2. Avatar Alotar

    I like that “maybe” in the last paragraph :)

  3. Avatar Abstract

    One small post for a man, one giant WIN for mankind.

  4. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Very funny – I like the structure, and the characterisation of the alien – it feels very – well – authentic, worryingly!

    Nice work kaellinn – MH :)

  5. Avatar kaellinn18

    Thanks a lot, everyone. I had fun writing this one. :-)

  6. Avatar SerKevin

    Great piece

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