Sleeping Dogs Lie

Avatar Author: M.K.P. I’m a technology freak and fascinated with gadgetry and how it works. I sleep with the radio on to feed an incessant need to be up to date and in touch with the world around me. In stark contrast though, I am perfectly co... Read Bio

He sat, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, his fingers sliding through hair moist with sweat. The basement room was cool; it was the work that caused Race to perspire. He took a deep breath, forcefully blew it out, and stood. His eyes searched over the tools hanging on the pegboard wall. That’s what I need, he thought, grabbing a slightly worn pair of hedge trimmers.

In the corner of the room, a figure stirred. Race pulled a length of twine, illuminating the room. The figure sat shirtless, tied to a painted wooden chair, a black sack covering its head.

“Hey! Animal! Wake up!”, Race said, smacking the sack, hard enough to knock the breath from his subject.

He pulled the bag off smacking him again; harder this time. “What were you thinking?!?”, Race asked.

“What? Why?”

“You know exactly what! AND WHY!!!”

The figure sobbed lightly. “I’m sorry … I’m sorry …”

Race grabbed the man’s chin and stared deep into his swollen, bloodshot eyes. “Forgiveness is God’s work.”, he growled, “I am not God.”

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    that’s quite scary actually. The last line is very good. Well done…
    Abby x

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Your first original, standalone story, and it certainly goes off with a bang… !

    Very suspenseful, a methodic yet psychotic central character – I love how the pointed selection of the hedge trimmers contrasts with the blind rage in his dialogue later in the piece.

    Multiple exlamation and question marks don’t suggest expression to me, I just find them a little messy – the dialogue’s good enough to convey feeling, so don’t go overboard on the punctuation…

    The title seems to suggest that the victim character, is the ‘dog’, indeed they are referred to as ‘animal’, whereas from the characterisation, it is the central character who is more animalistic – intentional or not, this suggests some pretty messed-up psychiatry, which could be built on very effectively in – dare I say it – future installments?

    Good work, MKD, you’ve earned yourself a follower eagerly awaiting more! MH :)

  3. Avatar M.K.P.

    Thanks for the feedback. I really enjoy getting different perspectives and interpretations. Valuable stuff. And point taken on the punctuation, MH. :)

    The sequel is now posted let me know what you think. —MKP

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