Avatar Author: Jim Stitzel I dabble a little in a lot of things -- writing, webcomics, gaming, photography, web design, music, and more. I'm a full-time code-wrangler and a part-time farmer with 40 acres, a lot of animals, and far, far too much to do. Read Bio

They battled high upon the wall walk, pushing and pulling, slashing with their blades, and slinging spells, neither gaining a foothold over the other.

A blast from the Elder and the thief was slung hard against the parapet. The Elder was on him instantly, his long, thin fingers wrapped around his opponent’s throat.

“Your god favored you truly this night. Nevertheless, I shall have your Prayer,” he hissed.

“I will not give it up willingly, Elder,” the thief replied and slung a last, desperate spell at the Elder, who countered it easily.

“Your Prayer, thief,” the Elder repeated.

“Never,” came the reply. “I will not relent to the demon to whom you Pray.”

The Elder chuckled. “Nay, I do not Pray, for my god has Blessed me.” With this he opened his right hand, revealing a bloodened crest. The thief’s eyes widened.

“You will have to carve my Prayer from my body, then.”

“Flesh magic,” he spat. “Very well. It will be as you wish.” With that, he drove a pike through the thief’s skull and prepared his blade.

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Comments (7 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    gritty, but almost too fantastical.. I want to go back and read the beginning of the tale, get a feel for the magic, the fight, the motive. It was a lot to digest. The chunks were small enough, but it was a huge stew pot of new information. :) best part, no talking heads! (the characters had action with their dialogue)

  2. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    This story is as much as a starting point for me as anything. I have a whole world I’m in the process of creating, in which gods and religions play pivotal roles. It’s difficult to condense all of that down into a 1024-character story. :)

  3. Avatar Lighty

    You do manage to make it feel as if there is a whole world behind this small scene, I’m burning with curiousity about their ‘Prayers’ now. I’m confused as to why the thief called the Elder, ‘Elder’ unless it’s a title recognised all over, but it seemed a term of high authority or something within his own religion which is why I was surprised the thief didn’t curse him as he did his god. This could just be my mind though.The action is easy to follow, with an engaging turn of events, the reveal at the end was shocking even though I have only a vague idea as to what it means. I do love a good fantasy and this was wonderful.

  4. Avatar The Third Robot

    The Thief deserved it.

    Well played. Fitting a universe into 1024 character snippets is quite a daunting task. I’ve thought about it and ceded that my intellectual inferiority is not up for the undertaking so I wish you the best of luck.

    I do think that you jammed a lot into this story though and seeing as though we aren’t familiar, it’s quite a bit to swallow.

    I am certainly curious though.

  5. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Yeah, I realize it’s a bit of info dump. The original story that I put together in my head before scribing it here was definitely longer with quite a bit more detail. Eventually, I’ll flesh it out more (not here, obviously) and fill in what’s missing.

  6. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Bizarre and twisted. I felt like it was right on the line between too fantastical and not. I felt like i had a sense of what was going on and what was at stake without any more detail given. Dramatic and fun stuff hinting at a larger conflict and system.

  7. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    I have to admit that this world is inspired, in part, by John Scalzi’s The God Engines. I wanted to create a world in which gods and religion play a critical role with physical iconography. It’s a religious dystopia!

    I’m glad that, despite the density of the story, people are getting a sense of what’s happening and how pivotal the event in this story is to this greater world at large.

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