A Warm Coat

Avatar Author: Concerned Reader I ain't a writer right now, and I probably wont be one in the future, but I sure as hell enjoy the act of writing. I've only just started writing in the past few years, and even then have only produced short stories and s... Read Bio

“Take my coat,” he said, offering the garment to a shivering girl. She couldn’t be any older than sixteen, and yet the streets treated her no differently. At first she refused the hospitality, but John’s persistence finally won out. “Look,” he started, “It’s cold out here, I’ve got extras, and you need it more than me.” Finishing his spiel, he draped the coat across her back before she could reply. He didn’t have any extras, but she did need it more than him. With a good deed done, and his spirits bubbling, John continued on his way.

He had only gone five steps when he heard a hoarse voice cry out, “Sir!” John pivoted to face the girl. Cosseted up in the warm coat, her face had begun to regain it’s color. Then he noticed that her outstretched hand held a ball point pen. “Sir! You’ve left your pen in the pocket!”

John paused only a moment, and then replied, “Keep it.” Without another word, he turned and continued on his way. She watched him leave, still holding the pen out in front of her.

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Oh no! This story doesn't have a prequel. Want to fill in the blanks and write one?


Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar Concerned Reader

    It’s now a three parter, and there’s a tiny bit of character development. I would have fit in more, but i wanted to keep it at three parts. The reason the sequels weren’t up earlier is I was writing them in real time.

  2. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    I think there’s enough character development hinted at here to keep it interesting – he’s benevolent, giving – but why? She doesn’t seem to trust easily, is used to a life of isolation – how come?

    Questions are good at such an early stage of a piece, and this was well written – thanks for entering! MH :)

  3. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Thanks! I’m a big fan of character development and subtle information.

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