Heartbreak

Avatar Author: Jim Stitzel I dabble a little in a lot of things -- writing, webcomics, gaming, photography, web design, music, and more. I'm a full-time code-wrangler and a part-time farmer with 40 acres, a lot of animals, and far, far too much to do. Read Bio

It broke my heart when you left.

You were my first and only love. I was certain that we would be together forever. You assured me that we would be. You convinced me that you loved me every bit as much as I loved you. Like a fool, I believed you. How could I have known otherwise? If you ever harbored doubts about us, you never let on. Maybe you were even telling the truth — then.

That’s why I was shocked when you said it was over — that we were over. I was blind-sided by your confession. I didn’t believe you could leave. It seemed as likely to me as being struck down by an errant meteroid. We were soul-bound, you and I.

And then you did leave — and left me crushed.

You broke my heart.

But now I’ve found you again, and I’m going to make you watch while I break yours.

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Comments (9 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Yeah, that was a deliberate choice of verbiage there. I was going for a rhythm there from the first part of the sentence. And hey, clich├ęs have their place, so long as they’re not overly abused.

  2. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    You assume correctly, though it could just as easily work the other way around. I suspect, however, that it reads most naturally with a male voice.

  3. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Count on it. :)

  4. Avatar The Third Robot

    Excellently done. You demonstrate the characters pain perfectly. Even I am saddened for it reminds me of some of my past (robo-tear).

  5. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    This one was actually a lot harder for me to write than I anticipated. That third paragraph was especially difficult, undergoing about 30 revisions before I finally happy enough with it to push it out. It’s just been long enough since I’ve experienced personal heartbreak of my own that it made it more difficult for me to fully get into the character’s head.

    And then I had to go and give him a very sharp knife. :-P

    Oh, and watch out for those robo-tears, my friend. Remember what happened to the Tinman…

  6. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    That went very quickly from kind of pathetic to downright scary. You caught me off guard so kudos for that.

  7. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    Most excellent, since that’s the exact effect I was going for. :)

  8. Avatar rawrchiteuthis

    Oh man, this perfectly captures how I felt after my first “true love” breakup. Anger, sadness, REVENGE.

  9. Avatar Jim Stitzel

    I think everyone’s been there at least once.

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