Death Above the Trees

Avatar Author: Glow Read Bio

The beast had lost, and it knew it. It let out a bellow, beginning to slip backwards out of the air as the hindmost pairs of its feathery appendages fell out of rhythm. Slowly, the weight of its armored carapace began to drag it down towards the forest below.

It took a lot to bring down an worm as big as this one, but the night’s storm had managed it. The winds had blown up out of nowhere, catching the worm as it slept. It had been lucky enough to avoid a lightning strike, but the sheer force of the wind had wrenched its rear sections around hard enough to rupture its left hind gas bladder, and although the membrane had already started to repair itself, the damage had been done.

A flock of smaller worms was beginning to swoop back and forth around the doomed giant, waiting for it to impale itself on the treetops and open its soft innards to them. The filamentous feeding nets around the giant’s mouth writhed in distress, and another bellow, long and low, tore from its throat as it began to plummet.

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

    Very well written. Nice details about the biology and behavior of a fantastic species.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I really like how it’s all about the action here, and just along the way you give up details about the flying beast. Very nice job in that way of keeping the reader interested beyond just the bizarreness of your imagined creature.

  3. Avatar thelostgirl

    I agree with King of Mars, the biology details are a nice touch.

    I felt a little disorientated when I first read this (not really sure what was happening or how the storm had caused so much damage) so a second reading was necessary for me to get my bearings. This may or may not be a bad thing depending on what effect you were going for.

  4. Avatar The Third Robot

    I was a little disorientated as well. I think that that would be easily remedied by seperating paragraphs. Then again, that is just a pet peeve of mine so it could just be me.

    Other than that, it’s a cool story and I enjoyed reading it.
    As for the story, I’ll have to disagree with some of the others for I think that the biological details were not exactly necessary. Perhaps if you described them differently they would have fit better.

  5. Avatar Glow

    Paragraph breaks added… hope it helps. Thanks for your feedback, everyone.

  6. Avatar Concerned Reader

    I think the biological details are fine for the exact reason that they aren’t explained in detail. It’s just how you describe a giant flying worm.

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