Leaving

Avatar Author: lastsyllable Who wants to be a writer? I do! Read Bio

It’s spring in Miami and everything is
leaving. The snowbirds who flew down for the winter
with the actual birds have packed their suitcases
and locked the doors of their vacation homes.
The spring break students have stumbled
off the beaches and exchanged beer and bathing suits
for books. The cormorants and grebes, moorhen and heron,
even the pebble-faced, green-backed Muscovy ducks
bid their northern brethren goodbye.

Only the delicate white ibises still pick their way
among the blades of sawgrass, looking for fat bugs
to feast on, cooing gently at each other,
the neighborhood cats sleep in shady porches
as the squirrels search for their secret caches,
and I rake leaves into piles beneath confused trees
that seem to sense all the leaving in the air,
blushing in embarrassment and baring their branches
even as they bear new buds, small and tight and green.

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Comments (36 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar chris Chris chris

    Learn to wright newb. Your icon disgusts me.

  2. Avatar lastsyllable

    Oh no, adorable kittens disgust you? What a troubled life you must lead. Thanks for reading!

  3. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Nice thoughts. Makes me feel like trees really do have feelings. Chris, obviously doesn’t know good writing.

  4. Avatar chris Chris chris

    I love adorable kittens, but I must say that that thing is most likely the ugliest thing I have ever seen.

  5. Avatar chris Chris chris

    Mr.Gabriel I did not even read this story I just wrote that to him because he said that on my story for no reason. If he/she does not like my story she/he does not have to read it. I did not see the need for a nasty comment.

  6. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Obviously he/she had a reason to make such a nasty comment on your story. Revenge isn’t going to get you any more liked.

  7. Avatar chris Chris chris

    And obviously I have a reason to write these comment on his/her story. If my reason is revenge why is that worse than his/her reason?

  8. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Their reason isn’t revenge. It’s towards your story’s stupidity. So why would you unnecessarily hate on her story because of your own personal problems.

    You can’t critique someone and then complain and whine when the same thing happens to you. Please, grow up and stop hating on everyone. This site is about love, and all your doing is causing an uproar.

  9. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    Their reason isn’t revenge. It’s towards your story’s stupidity. So why would you unnecessarily hate on their story because of your own personal problems?

    You can’t critique someone and then complain and whine when the same thing happens to you.

    Please, grow up and stop hating on everyone. This site is about love, and all you’re doing is causing an uproar.

  10. Avatar chris Chris chris

    You think I hate on everyone? Everyone was hating on me, even before I wrote School. You were one of those people. It seems to me like you go around this site and judge everything and think that you are smarter than most people, especially me just because I wrote some things that you don’t agree with. You have already decided that you do not like me so you disagree with everything I say.

  11. Avatar lastsyllable

    But if you didn’t read my story then how do you know that I need to learn to write? So confusing!

    Thanks for the comments, Mr. Gabriel!

  12. Avatar chris Chris chris

    You told me that I need to learn to wright just because you thought I was wrong about something. I wrote the story just fine but you didn’t agree with what I was saying so you left a nasty comment.

  13. Avatar Mr.Gabriel

    There is a huge difference between, hating and critique. Apparently you don’t know the difference. If your story wasn’t good, then we’ll tell you the truth. It’s on you how you take it.

    Apparently I don’t judge everything, if I just told lastsyllable how good their work was.

    I don’t think I’m smarter than anyone, because everyone knows more than me. Besides, this isn’t about personal views, it’s about what you say and how you say it. I disagree solely because you are wrong.

  14. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    I happen to like this poem. :)

  15. Avatar chris Chris chris

    Judging does not necessarily have to be bad. It can be a compliment. Let me get this straight. I was hating when I commented on this story and said learn to wright but lastsyllable was just being critique when he/she wrote that on my story first?

  16. Avatar lastsyllable

    No, Chris, I told you to learn to write because I thought the thing you wrote was poorly written. A character can have a cruddy opinion and still be well written. See Catcher in the Rye for details. If you’re interested in improving your writing, I am glad to help. If you’re interested in trolling, consider yourself ignored.

  17. Avatar chris Chris chris

    The n00b part was unnecessary.

  18. Avatar lastsyllable

    It’s a reference to an internet meme. I have no direct knowledge of your actual level of noobness.

  19. Avatar chris Chris chris

    I am still unsure of what you are referring to. When you left that comment the n00b part really made you sound like a troll.

  20. Avatar lastsyllable

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=learn%20to%20play

    And it looks like your grammar and spelling are already improving with each new post. Practice really does make perfect.

  21. Avatar chris Chris chris

    What is your point? I was trying to get a point across I don’t care about my grammar unless it is horrible and unreadable. If I have a few grammar mistakes here and there I do not understand why everyone has to cry over it. You say it’s constructive criticism but it’s not when people tell me about it in a fashion such as you did.

  22. Avatar lastsyllable

    If you don’t care about your grammar, then why should we care about your story? I assure you, none of us are crying, Argentina. And if you’re not going to put in the time to present polished work, then why should we put in the time to present polished critique?

  23. Avatar chris Chris chris

    Argentina? And I do try my best with grammar but I don’t know how to spell every word and I don’t care enough to look it up on the internet or in the dictionary. Sorry…

  24. Avatar lastsyllable

    “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” is a song from Evita. And once again, if you don’t care, why should we care? If you’re really sorry, shape up. If not, ship out.

  25. Avatar Mostly Harmless

    Oh my I wish I could write poetry.

    This was GORGEOUS. I think, having read it again, and again, and again, it’s one of the best pieces of free verse I’ve ever read on Ficly, and it makes me sad that it only gets an average pencil rating of 3 because of ‘hate’ commenting…

    I hope my 5 boosts it up :)

    You really paint an exquisite picture with this, lots of detail and depth which just creates such an atmosphere… I can’t really describe it, but it’s like the reader is there, and it’s beautiful…

    So, well done!

    Yours in Jealousy,
    MH :)

    P.S: Kudos on the ‘Evita’ reference ;)

  26. Avatar beatnik307

    Very nice scene-setting.

  27. Avatar lastsyllable

    Wow, MH, that is certainly a ringing endorsement! I’m blushing over here. Us 40-year-olds need all the compliments we can get so we can feel 13 again. You must… love… meeee…

    And thanks beatnik, glad you liked the scene.

  28. Avatar chris Chris chris

    why? 13 is a pretty horrible age, don’t you remember all the drama?

  29. Avatar lastsyllable

    Drama, acne, gym class… it was all pretty terrible indeed. But that was when I started reading Stephen King novels so at least some good came of it.

  30. Avatar N. Robertson

    5 pencils for you.