Beautiful as most of your work and sad, another common thread that runs through your stories. You use language, like an origami master- simple, styled, and generally perfect. I did have one minor question. The second line sticks out. Both because of a little confusion on whether the protagonist is a woman (or veiled), and where the women are. After re-reading it for the third time, if the women were left far behind, when do they come up to speak? Other than that minor quibble, I truly did enjoy your story.

I’ll think of a way to edit this, but basically the river cuts through the plains and runs along the citadel walls. I couldn’t think of a way to make it clearer… but it was late at night and I was just immediately inspired to write this. I’ll check on it tonight. Thanks for the comment :)

This is beautiful, PJ…I actually cried. Everyone else has already said everything, but yeah, awesome.

Lots there. I like the fact that she has to go very quickly from a tortured grieving process to assuming some big responsibility. Nicely done.
That last sentence in the first paragraph might have been better a bit more broken up.

this was sweet not like baby puppies ‘sweet’, like that is a badass harley ‘sweet’
This story did exactly what ficly was designed to do: tell a great deal with few words, and leave so many questions we beg for a sequel. many pencils for you and welcome to the loa.

Wow, thanks everyone for the great comments and this is why I love ficly, because I wasn’t sure about this piece but got a fantastic range of reactions. Yay!