In the Cemetery

Avatar Author: ElshaHawk (LoA) "Read, Reply, Ficly, or Die!" -Krully Ficly Blogger-In-Chieftess I am a self-proclaimed member of the LoA (League of Awesomeness): Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision. Special Needs Teacher, wife, mother of ... Read Bio

“You sure this is how we see the witch, Cal?” whispered JoAnn.

“Yes, just leave a dead cat on the unmarked tombstone and she will come after it.”

JoAnn shuddered. Cal took it to be a shiver and he put his arm around her shoulders. She shook him off. Cal was undeterred.

“Look, Cal, just because it’s dark, doesn’t mean you can put the moves on me.”

“I thought you were cold!”

“Yeah, right.”

“Are you scared?”

“No.”

“Liar!”

“Shut up! She’ll never come with you yappin!”

Cal shut up. They sat in the dark for a long time, jumped at every twig snap, and heard a lonesome coyote’s howl which sent shivers down their spines. They looked every which way into the dark, peering into the darkest shadows, which is why they never saw her coming.

Cal felt a hand grip his arm and he turned to see JoAnn staring intently at the tombstone. Behind it a dark stooped figure stood. The moonlight made her wrinkles deeper and her white hair glow.

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Comments (8 so far!)

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  1. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    !!! Then what? Then what?!

  2. Avatar blusparrow (LoA)

    OOOO YOU LEFT US HANGING!!!!!!! this is intense lol.

  3. Avatar Paddy Festus

    I agree, then what? or is that where we come in…

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    well, while i have SOME ideas, this site is about community, so if you want to jump in, be my guest.

  5. Avatar Marli

    Very good Elisha

  6. Avatar Stovohobo

    The second to last paragraph seems a little clunky to me. Maybe choppy, or maybe it’s the word “they” too much. It seems to be a few short, expository sentences with a sort of repetition that doesn’t seem to work quite right.

    Other than that, though, it’s a nice enough progression into the lady. It remains to be seen how she actually is…

  7. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    good point stovo, I may have fixed that in my hardcopy.. I’ll go change it now! :)

  8. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    ewww what stealth

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