Seven Minutes.

Avatar Author: StudMuffin (LoA) I'm 20. I live in Hastings, UK. Uhhh I'm going to school for illustration, but sometimes I just, like, love writing. Back when I was 15, I was a member of this site in it's earliest days and I stopped using it after ... Read Bio

The door closed.
Her uncomfortable feeling was all too obvious, their history producing an elephant so large it couldn’t possible fit into the room.

He rubbed his hands against the back of her head, the familiarity of his touch bringing chills to her neck. As he brought his lips to hers, she protested. She no longer had feelings for him. She was not okay with this.

He stared.

“I never stopped loving you.”

His touch turned into a grip. The hand previously in his pocket sped up to cover her mouth. He started to unbutton the front of his pants.

She screamed as loud as she could, to no effect. Not only was his hand muffling her voice, but the closet was soundproof. The host had made sure to make a point of that.

Pushing her against the wall, he placed a chair against the door, under the knob.
There was no way for anyone to get in.

The slowest, hardest seven minutes of her life passed.
At the 15 minute mark, her friends, decided to give them their “privacy”.

After 20, he let her go.

“Tell Nobody.”

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Comments (15 so far!)

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  1. Avatar One Time, One Chance

    “Her uncomfortable feeling was all too apparent, their history producing an elephant so large it couldn’t possible fit into the room.”

    Bahahahaha;
    That was a great line.
    Very nice story – well written, with a tempting “Tell Nobody.” for someone to sequel.

  2. Avatar Ruby Slippers

    Creepy. Did the host want this sort of thing to happen (soundproof closet)?

  3. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    When did people put chairs in closets and how big is it?
    It’s creepy how you can imagine this, but – don’t take this the wrong way – I like this perverted stuff, even if it makes my insides feel all wrong.

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    that’s gonna leave a mark

  5. Avatar Music-Hearted

    Ahhh!!! Scary, but well written. A quick note— in the first paragraph, I feel like “apparent” is awkward. Maybe “obvious” would be better? Anyway, nice work.

  6. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Yikes, ech, and brutal. Effective writing, just a gnarly situation. My one nit-pick would be the number of hands, as it seemed like he tightened his grip on the back of her head, covered her mouth, and undid his pants.

    I really liked the switch in perspective to explain the outside people ‘giving them their privacy’, allowing it to go on. Nice touch.

  7. Avatar Kay-Teaze

    Very good – like the irony of 7 min in hell as opposed to heaven.

    While reading, I also thought, “this guy has more hands than Shiva”. But I see this has been addressed. :D

  8. Avatar Stovohobo

    1) Congrats on getting featured.
    2) This is like my first comment in about two months on Ficly, so feel honored.
    3) I’ve noticed you have a knack for writing really powerful lines of imagery that you drop into important moments. It’s a good knack to have.

  9. Avatar StudMuffin (LoA)

    Thanks, guys! haha

    I would just like to say that it was my intention to have him remove his hand from her neck and use that hand to undo his pants

  10. Avatar Yunalasca

    nice story
    it kinda creeped me out so the realism is apparant :)
    good sequal potential, liked the ending alot.

    liked the note about her friends also.

  11. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Typo: “possible” should be “possibly”

    Really nasty. Really really nasty. But well written.

  12. Avatar Violet Turner

    I also enjoyed this story, but I’m confused over the word love. Surely, if he loved her, he wouldn’t rape her and ruin their chances of getting back together? I think “love” is too profound to be used this way. Aside from that, and your use of imagery was really great and I also liked the idea of 7 minutes in hell. Tell Nobody was an excellent touch, but I don’t think it fits with I Never Stopped Loving You.

  13. Avatar StudMuffin (LoA)

    In my mind, he was very…disturbed.
    And, being as such, his judgement may be a bit frayed,

  14. Avatar ~Eagle~My~Beagle

    StudMuffin, I just gotta say, after coming back to Ficly from a long absence, your skills as a writer have come a long way!

    Your creativity was obvious to me last summer, but now you have everything you need to channel that into really great writing. Bravo, man.

  15. Avatar The Squibz

    OH I GET IT LOLZ ITS ABOUT RAPE YOU GUYS you sick bastard.

Whoa there, partner, hold up!

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