Nominative determinism at work (June 23rd, 2010)

Avatar Author: dkscully "Stand back! I have a keyboard and I'm not afraid to use it." This site is totally awesome. I really enjoyed ficlets.com (where I went by my alternative handle of kjaneway), and I thought that it was a great shame that... Read Bio

The man was drunk. Really, utterly blasted. So much so, that I wondered how he was still standing. He held the webbing strap so tightly that his knuckles were white, and swayed alarmingly as the transport took corners on its meandering route towards the docks. Nothing seemed to stop his singing, though.

“I’m gonna be the captain, I’m gonna be in charge. I’m gonna be the captain, I’m gonna be-…”

We stopped, allowing a missionary to board. He took a single step towards the red faced man before he caught the scent of stale alcohol.

“You can fuck off to the back and sulk there,” roared the man as the black clad boy scurried away, distaste twisting his pale, beardless face.

“I’m gonna be the captain, I’m gonna be in charge…” The voice swelled to a yell. “Captain Bollocks! I shall be Captain Bollocks. On the good ship Scrotum. It’s a small boat, but it’ll pack a punch. We’ll be able seamen in our boat, Scrotum.”

It seemed appropriate, and I wondered whether the Ship’s AI had chosen him simply for his name.

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ethelthefrog

    Oh, I love the last sentence. Elevates this piece from amusing to outstanding.

  2. Avatar DoItForScience

    Heh, that ship would have to be the Red Dwarf, no?

  3. Avatar dkscully

    To be honest, I was aiming more for an Iain M. Banks feel, as I can entirely see one of the Culture Minds naming itself ‘Scrotum’ and then choosing a man called ‘Bollocks’ as captain just for the amusement value.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ships_(The_Culture)

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Funny use of the quotes. Making him drunk certainly explained the content of the quote nicely. Nice story and environment wound around the quote too.