Lovely Eyes

Avatar Author: HannahMarie I write for me. It's a passion of mine. Give me constructive criticism. It's welcomed, in fact, it's DEMANDED! mwahahaha is > an evil laugh!!:O _I wear my sunglasses at night!_ Read Bio

Scott’s eyes raked across my flesh, forcing screams from my peeling lips. My body writhed on the slick sidewalk, burying small pebbles in my elbows.

“Don’t. Ever. Deny. Me. Again,” Scott hissed, pulsing pain through my body with every word. My face was bathed in the steam from my breath as my chest heaved and strained against the spasms raking my body.
Oh God, please let this end
“If you fight me, I will kill you. Alice, you know my strength. You’ve seen me kill and mutilate. I love you and I don’t want to hurt you. Baby, let me help you.”

“You bastard! You don’t love me! You tricked me and my family! Look at what you’ve done,” I spat at his feet. Glaring headlights illuminated us as a truck rumbled down the street.
Scott’s eyes turned a stormy green and I soon regretted having opened my mouth.

“I’m sorry, Scott. I don’t know what to do and you’re the only one that can help me. Please, Scott. H-Help me.” I pretended that my voice didn’t shake and sucked in a deep breath as he hoisted me in his arms.

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  1. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    The situation is genius. And the description is epic. It’s only the dialogue that is flawed. It’s too robotic, too forced. It should be chopped up a little more, like “You tricked me! My family!” mainly because if you’re under so much pain, you don’t waste connective words.

  2. Avatar HannahMarie

    The dialogue is intentional. You’ll find out why later on.

Inspired by

The rain coursed steadily down my face like tears. I felt Scott materialize beside me but kept staring ahead, not wanting to expose my fear. ...

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