Bitter

Avatar Author: Amaris Wolfe I'm just walking in circles to find my way home. Read Bio

You know, I was hoping until the moment his mouth formed her name.
Even though I had told myself I wouldn’t-my secret is that I did. The secret I hid from myself was that I did.
I waited, and dreamed, and wished and waited. Hoped beyond hope. He was known for doing crazy things. Maybe his latest, crazy thing would be me?
“Never,” the tiny, slimy voice said in the back of my mind. “He’ll never do it. You’re a failure.”
And I wish, to this day, that it had been wrong.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Very sad, if I followed it right, the unrequited love of youth. That second sentence and the one right after it are really hard to follow. All in all, it could use some clarification and fleshing out, but if it’s just venting, then I guess it’s served its purpose.

  2. Avatar Edcrab

    Yeah, making it more specific could work, but it’s pretty effective even when it’s intentionally left vague. Very melancholy.

  3. Avatar Amaris Wolfe

    This story actually came out quite differently than it was meant to.
    It was originally a venting of frustration-I recently lost a promotion, due to a disparity of experience between my own and other candidate’s experience. I was informed prior to the announcement that I wasn’t eligible, and I wasn’t even allowed to compete, but still…I still hoped.
    And so I needed to get out the bitterness.
    Thanks so much for your suggestions, although I will probably leave as is, because right now I feel it best represents how I was feeling..frustrated enough that my articulation wasn’t perfect.
    I’m going to keep this, and when I win my promotion-I’ll look back at this and be happy.
    Thanks so much for your advice!

  4. Avatar Kihd

    I like it as is. Yeah, the second lines took a second to set in, but in totality, it was great. For some odd reason, the piece got better once I knew the story behind it.
    I hope you get the promotion next time! You’ll have to write a sequel called “Glee” or “Giddiness” or something.

  5. Avatar Amaris Wolfe

    I definetly will. Thanks so much for your support!

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