Also by the Same Author

Avatar Author: Ben Paddon British-born writer and geek humorist living and working in Los Angeles, California. I'm the writer and host of PortsCenter (, the co-creator and co-writer of Dalek Gary ( Read Bio

He was never satisfied with his writing, but his works had been published globally; bound in leather and sold by the millions, loved by readers and critics alike. This meant nothing to him. Upon completion of a novel he’d feel confident it was as good as it was going to be, although eventually he’d be overcome by disappointment, wishing he’d spent more time on it. As far as he was concerned he was a hack and the world had exceptionally poor taste.

He didn’t consider himself a handsome man, although the many women who had walked in and out of his life had disagreed. He chalked this up to his own romantic tastes, concluding that he favored women who favored troll-like figures.

He’d written all of this into his suicide note, another composition he wasn’t satisfied with. Yet even this touched the hearts of many. His last words may have marked the end of his own life, but they sparked change and renewal in the lives of others, as did the many drafts found in his apartment in the weeks following his death.

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Comments (5 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Akheloios

    I love the idea that an author delayed his own death just so he could do extensive rewrites on his own suicide note :)

  2. Avatar i, Coomber

    Great ficly, creates the right atmosphere without ever going too far.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    It points out the sickening truth about fame, when you go out at the top of your game, people adore you forever. Poor pessimist, never happy.

  4. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Even more than fame, I think it paints a nice portrait of the reality of self esteem. If you don’t believe it, there is little anyone else can do to convince you of your wonderfulness. The opposite condition is called a narcissist. Great job on a very worrisome post, professionally speaking.

    You doing okay, Ben?

  5. Avatar Ben Paddon

    I’m in a weird place right now, but I’m as good as I can be.

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