Please report to the nearest corrections facility for an immediate evaluation. Note that your working pod may no longer be a valid location, and you may not be allowed to return based on your evaluation, so please make sure to deposit any belongings into the moving box provided and bring them to your evaluation.

You are reminded that this is a secure spam facility, and that any attempt to contact an outside authority will be viewed as a hostile action. Security personnel will be alerted to your presence and will be available to escort you to the corrections facility.

If you a unable to report to corrections in a timely manner, please see your manager immediately for notification. Failure to report to corrections will result in a summary judgment which may lead to bodily rendition or other corporal punishment dependent on your office record.

If you should receive an unsatisfactory evaluation, we the management thank you for your years of service and wish you best of luck in your future endeavors.