I wasn’t stealing. It was sitting there, stinking. The grime latched onto my skin as I reached it out from its eave of hiding. My new friend, I decided, patting it beside me on the bench.

Then I shuffled his contents, opening his innards. Surreptitiously, I ducked behind my favourite bush to reveal the rest.

There I pulled out a candle, then a little blue USB. I smelt timidity of wax warped with eroticism oozing from the small electrical device. My hand dipped into his bowels to bring up a photo. A girl smiled at me, a petiteness of happiness like they plaster on billboards, except…this was real.

My fingers reached up to my face. My smile was not handsome. She could besiege Babylon with that look. Yes, Babylon. I grimaced.

Scratches and salt covered the last treasure, a Cd player with no disk. I pressed play, switching it to radio. Gurgling fish noses echoed over my park. Ah, some deckhand’s lullaby.

I gazed into those pretty eyes. Pea-urchined Barcelonan though I was, I tasted the sailor’s girl.