Before You am I

Avatar Author: Trykdyn At the beginning when mush squished in my nose and I felt the world through my mother's skin, I grabbed words by the umbilical cord. Now cut, dry, and old, I pull on any cord I can find that ends with a word of purpose in... Read Bio

The intense embryo wriggled in mother’s liquid. Artificial mama. It was the best that the secreting world of science in all its mind-raping glory could provide for the young one.

“What is this?” The interrogation of fragile lips lingered above the test-tube.

“An embryonic traveller. If you’re careful enough -” and pointing Mr. Goggle directed the ancient’s eyes to across the room.

“He was born yesterday, but here-” and Mr. Goggle’s gleefully spun his spittled hair as if suddenly seized by his inspirational demon and laughed. The ancient glared at the crazy man, shook his head down at the must-covered prophesy, then back at the revolving form in the oxygen-bubbled fluid.

Friction heated Mr.Goggle’s hands as he rubbed them. Almost tenderly he placed his palm against glass against face. “He’s 12 here. Then we found him before he was…”

Mr. Goggle and the ancient merged minds, crashing into silence as science worshiped itself, space hurtled birth, and the child in glass spoke,“I am/there you are…”.

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Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar J. Rein B.

    I… feel like something’s happening here, but I’m not sure what. Is this the origin story of our little superhero?
    If so it’s cool.

    The dream sequency style of the fic makes me think whether or not isaiah can be a superhero in his dreams, or in reality.

  2. Avatar Sir Bic

    Trippy but sounding a bit forced at times.

    The pacing seems a little too fast. You have a lot of good things to say, but building on just one idea would be better, in my opinion, anyway – for what it’s worth.

    There is a comic book like feel to this “origin” tale and I think it works with the superhero theme, if that’s what this story will become.

  3. Avatar Trykdyn

    yeah, origin story of Isaiah.

    The dream sequency of the fic makes Isaiah able to be a superhero in his dreams and in reality…? Let’s hope.

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