...for Humans Only

Avatar Author: Trann Husband. Father: two boys. Guinness fan. Scotch whisky admirer. Poker player: live since mid ‘80s; online since ‘00. Activities: goalie (beer league), curler (more beer), golfer (even more beer), soccer (coach and player)... Read Bio

“You can’t order me around, you know. You’re just a machine.”

“That’s true. Let me contact your parents. Oh, wait. They’re dead.”

“Stop being so mean!”

“I’m not mean. I simply have no emotional constructs that provide for empathy.”

“Then why the duck suit?”

“It’s for my amusement. The test will being in 60 seconds.”

“And if I refuse to wear it?”

“Then your death will be… less amusing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Trust me. The duck suit is very amusing.”

“No, I mean about you killing me.”

“Oh, that. I suppose you’re right. Without any other station personnel, you’re the only human resource available.”

“So, you need me?”

“Yes. Thankfully, my medical bay is fully functional and your injuries, while I’m sure they will be severe, will not be life-terminating. 30 seconds.”

“Fine. I’m putting on the duck suit. See?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you.”

“It itches and smells funny.”

“The itching is due to a breakdown of the synthetic fibers in the suit’s lining. The smell is fear. 15 seconds.”

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Comments (6 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Trann

    Hmm, I tried adding sequel=1 in the URL but it didn’t work. Oh well…

  2. Avatar Trann

    This is a sequel to http://ficly.com/stories/1

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Great last line, and a bizarre, unique scenario among the now many sequels. Hilarious challenge, and this was a great result of the challenge. Thanks for doing a sequel.

  4. Avatar Stovohobo

    I feel like you’ve been playing Portal 2. Funny nonetheless; last line is really nice.

  5. Avatar cthulhuburger

    I agree with Stovohobo. I sense quite a lot of GLaDOS on this story! :)

  6. Avatar ShadowWolfnr14

    I know that this has been said before, but I feel a lot of GLaDOS in this. Maybe it’s the dead parents thing. Good job, nonetheless.

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