He was standing in the front of the auditorium, beginning his “uplifting” talk in light of the recent zombie attack. The teenagers were gathered in the ghastly orange chairs, barely listening.

He began, "ZOMBIES.

What image come to mind? Was it flesh-craving, green-skinned, mutilated people moaning and rising out of graves coming towards you? Was it a family or a few close friends huddled around a fire in a shelter, a stockpile of shotguns and food around them?

Most people picture things such as that, but not me.

When I hear ‘zombies,’ I picture a boring man with a boring tie going to his boring job then coming home in boring traffic in his boring car to his boring wife and his boring children to watch boring TV. ‘Corporate zombies.’ People who do nothing but go to work and have no fun. I vow myself to never, ever become a corporate zombie. I am a free spirit and will remain one. I will never be constrained by the limits of a cubicle! I will—-"

Then a zombie bit off his face.

The end.