Finding sanctuary

Avatar Author: smdasilva {LoA} I am just a girl who always wanted to be a writer. Follow me on Twitter @smdasilva5! Read Bio

Michi removed her cloak and shook out her blond hair. She was safe, at least for the moment. The hunters wouldn’t give up easily even after their losses this afternoon. Maybe especially after those losses.

The house was just a regular house in a regular neighborhood. The small bungalow was her sanctuary, her refuge from prying eyes and the hunters who were constantly searching. However, she knew that good things never lasted. Michi was ready to run at a moment’s notice. The rucksack she kept in the hall closet contained a couple sets of warm clothes, water bottles, herbs and drams she could use to create something useful and a clean set of identification that she would need to set up a new abode.

A rap on the door shook Michi out of her reverie. She glanced at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable. Another knock, louder this time, made her hurry to the front of the house. A deep breath cleared her mind and she reached for the doorknob.

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Comments (7 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    A sequel! How fun. I like the mood here, and the cliffhanger ending is fun. This seems to flesh out her level of resourcefulness and hints that she’s done this for a while or multiple times before.

    One note, starting a sentence with a conjunction (and, or, but, etc) is considered ‘weak’. I don’t know if that’s the right word for it, but if you try I think you’ll find it reads better if you avoid doing it.

  2. Avatar smdasilva {LoA}

    Thanks for the input. I changed those sentences. Hope it reads better.

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I threw on a sequel, and I hope you don’t mind a suggested plot element you may not have been intending.

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    “new” should be “knew” if you have the space. :)
    You brought the witch back, yay! And I love that she has a bag of things to make a run for it, as if this has happened before. (Yes, I began a sentence with a weak conjunction. AGAIN! @THX who must know that I commented in conjunctions on another story.. Personally, I find them conversational, albeit admittedly weak for formal writing.)

  5. Avatar smdasilva {LoA}

    @THX – thanks for the sequel. I think one of the points of ficly collaboration is that things go in strange and unexpected directions!

    @Elsha – good catch! Thanks.

  6. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    Nice phrasing. I enjoyed the pace to this, but you maintained a level of calm to it that reflects the character very well.
    How do you pronounce the name? – I do hate it when my lack of knowledge snags my reading =S
    Abby x

  7. Avatar smdasilva {LoA}

    @Abby – I would pronounce it as Meechee. But I didn’t create the name, just sequeled :)

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