The Way Things Were

Avatar Author: Concerned Reader I ain't a writer right now, and I probably wont be one in the future, but I sure as hell enjoy the act of writing. I've only just started writing in the past few years, and even then have only produced short stories and s... Read Bio

I didn’t want it to end this way, you know? I thought we could just keep going, live and let live. But they’re not gonna let that happen, are they? Everything used to be so great. I’m gonna miss those days. That period of joyful innocence. I guess that’s over now. It’s more than just game now, and I wish I could change things back, but I can’t.

I don’t want to lose you. Not again. Not ever. If I have to choose between you and the world, well, I’ll take you every time. No question. No hesitation. When you showed up two years ago, it was the happiest day of my life. Through every horrid day in that sanitized white prison you stood by me, then you broke me out, and now I’m gonna stand by you.

So let them come. They call me a weapon, while you call me a friend. But I guess I’m both, in the end, because when they come for us, I won’t let it stand. I’ll fight beside you, to the bitter end. When you give a kid a weapon, someone’s gonna get hurt. Well you’ve got me, and the world’s had it coming for a while.

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Comments (15 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar airborne

    Nice soliloquy! Also, the last line was great!

  2. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    Very genuine and emotional piece. I like the repeated use of rhetorical questions. Good sentence structure too, especially in the second paragraph.

    However, the final paragraph is definately the best. Only thing I would say is should there not be an apostrophe in “worlds”?
    Abby x

  3. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Woops. Nice catch. Fixed now. Thanks to both of y’all for the kind words.

  4. Avatar Concerned Reader

    I got bored and did a recording: http://tindeck.com/listen/oubo

  5. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    A few typos remaining in that first paragraph. I got the emotion easily, but otherwise it felt a bit generic and general to me. It seemed like you could have condensed most of that into one paragraph and then launched into a really cool story from there. So, tons of potential and well executed, but I was left wanting something more.

  6. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Well, now I’m having thoughts of doing a series of diary entries in this style. We’ll see what comes of that.

  7. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    You’re American! Damn, not another one!!! lol =)

  8. Avatar Concerned Reader

    I thought about doing an accent, but the only accent I can do is a bad Australian/British/Scottish mishmash.

  9. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    It’s great as it is. As much as I like reading, sometimes it’s nice to listen to some writing. Would be great if ficly had a “record and listen” feature.

  10. Avatar Nickel

    A strong, powerful piece. The expression of emotion here was well-executed; the transitions between despairing weariness, then love and protectiveness, and finally resolve and determination were nicely done. A tad on the generic side, but nevertheless a good piece. You definitely need to sequel this. It’s too awesome. Companion creatures!

    Also: hahahaha, you did a recording! It wasn’t bad, but a little halting and you could probably put in a little bit more emotion when you were reading the first paragraph. But the reading was pretty radical, all the same! I need to pick up a sweet accent like yours. I hear you can pick up great accents by watching Doctor Who.

  11. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Thanks! It took me some time to get into the pacing of the reading. I threw in the halting stops and stutters on purpose, but I don’t know if they helped or hindered.

  12. Avatar Wednesday [PJ] ((LoA))

    Has a feeling of blood brothers, eternal friendship… I like it :)

  13. Avatar Kay-Teaze

    Made me think of the song “We’re in this Together” by NIN.

    I like it… I was totally imagining a romantic connection… but they’re probably both guys, being former cell mates. But it could also be homo-erotic… (sorry for reading into this too much, past your intentions, lol. But maybe you’ll get ideas…)

  14. Avatar Concerned Reader

    Well there’s certainly a relationship to be sure, but it’s more of a very strong brother bond.

  15. Avatar Nickel

    For me, I more figured the relationship as ‘intimate’, but not so much ‘romantic’. Like brothers, or extremely close friends, or a guy and his companion creature (YOINK I stole this from the keywords). I was picturing something along the lines of the human-dragon relationship in Temrer and Philip Pullman’s ‘daemons’.