Quiet Sendoff

Avatar Author: Browncoatben At some point, that cave wall was a blank slate... Read Bio

Ben stood in the terminal near Gate 13 at DFW watching the Boeing jet get slowly pushed back into the taxiway. He leaned against a wall and tried to relax as he studied the plane. Using the scrutiny he had learned as an F-15 crew chief in the Air Force, he noted the streaks across the left wing, a sure sign of loose panel screws.

He wondered how the last engine boroscope had gone. Had anything been missed? Ignored? What kind of shape are the hydraulics in? The plane had pulled into the gate a mere 45 minutes earlier, and he hadn’t seen anybody with a LO-PAC servicing the tires or a cart pumping hydraulic fluid.

Gas ’n Go.

Can you really trust a union workforce to prove a jet air-worthy in 45 minutes? Ben mused, a frown dominating his face.

Finally, as the engines came to life and the plane began to pull away, Ben longingly reached out and touched the cold window, almost praying to a god he didn’t believe in to protect his wife and son as their lives are entrusted to a consortium of lowest bidders.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar memento

    The genuineness of this piece is great. You’ve done an excellent job tapping into the mental processes of a man concerned for his family.

    Only a few things to point out: Line six needs a pluralizing “s” at the end of "45 minutes. You also might want to check your verbs for tense consistency.

    I find it interesting you only use italics once. There may be other opportunities to use them as a method of relaying the character´s inner thoughts, especially in the second paragraph. I feel it might add a beneficial layer of dimensionality to the story.

  2. Avatar 32 ^2

    Like a doctor watching someone operate on one of his kids. Nice story.

    The ending needs changing: lowest bidders could be the lowest bidder (s) or low bidders. Otherwise, well done.

  3. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    I have never flown, and probably never will, since my husband is afraid of heights. If I let him read this, his fears would manifest themselves into a stronger conviction. :) My heart goes out to this guy and his family even if they may not be real. That’s good writing.

  4. Avatar Browncoatben

    Thanks for the feedback all.

    @Momento – Thanks for pointing out the grammar error. Fixed. Also, I took your advise on the italics.

  5. Avatar memento

    @ Browncoatben — Anytime. Great story.