A Work Perk

Avatar Author: Robert Quick A no-name, aspiring author who can't stop writing. Looking ahead, he strives for perfection. Shackled by various forms of entertainment, he dreams of success. Most stories here are an invitation to YOU, to join me in cre... Read Bio

It was loneliness that finally drove him to do it. Well loneliness and opportunity. He had been a driver for a long time. Most of the time his passengers were the elderly or the morbidly obese. Only three times in five years had he picked up anyone under the age of thirty.

Tonight’s passenger was a twenty-two year old female. Dark wavy hair framed an oval face that was smooth and blemish free. Lips like hers were made for kissing.

“Tonight is one strange night, eh?” He joked. His voice sounded loud in the van somehow drowning out the roar of the freeway.

There was no response from the girl.

The drive went by quickly and before he knew it, he was alone in the room with her.

His mind raced as he undressed her. Should he do it? It wouldn’t take very long and if he was thorough, no one would ever know. A body like that was much too good to waste. As he pulled her jean skirt off her, he felt a throb of desire that drove away all possible repurcussions. Mind made up, he slowly lowered himself into the corpse.

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar August 2nd

    Yup, that met the challenge requirements alright. I feel dirty just having read it.

    I’m sure I’ve commented about this before, Robert, but I often find that in the first paragraphs of your stories, you provide introductory material that isn’t strictly necessary. In this story, I find that true of your first two paragraphs. We don’t know what your protagonist is a driver for (mortuary, medical school, etc.) and I don’t think it really matters that he’s a driver at all. He could just as easily have been a grave robber.

    Were I in your place, I would likely have started after the 1st sentence in the 2nd paragraph. That would have allowed you to develop the critical part of the story more fully, and to allow your protagonist to speak more than once. If he speaks to corpses/cadavers at all, I suspect he’d be likely to keep up a running conversation.

  2. Avatar Infinity.

    Freaky. Seriously freaky.
    Of course, I’m talking about your story but today when I was trying to figure out what to write about, I wanted to do something insanely…weird and I thought about writing something insanely similar to this!

    I think I have telepathy to other ficly-ers?

    Anyways, this may be the best entry yet. Super disturbing and..disgusting!
    very well done!

  3. Avatar Foolhearted

    ack! I don’t know why, but I originally thought that the narrator was a cabbie or shuttle bus driver, and that the girl was alive at the beginning of the story. After reading August’s comment, now I’m along with the general dead body transportation business theory, but it just isn’t clear no matter how I read it.

    I guess I kinda like it that way.

  4. Avatar 32 ^2

    I thought she was the boogeywoman when she didn’t respond, I thought he was the goner.

    I don’t think you needed the room part, it too big an idea for this great small story.

    You could list a place where one might take a prostitute/victim and both still remain in the van: a parking lot, dirt road, alley, parking garage…you don’t say what kind of van it is. If you want to make it a location, it could be his home, with a garage and all, or a barn he could pull into, I just don’t see him lugging corpse into a hotel/motel.

    Or, you could define the room, without giving it away, such as ice cold room.

Whoa there, partner, hold up!

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