The Dark

Avatar Author: Samantha Lau There's not much to say about who I am, however like most here my passion is writing. I hope to improve my vocabulary and skills in English to one day, hopefully, be able to put my ideas into words in a way I'm proud of. Read Bio

Darkness came into the room, accompanying Dark.
The first one hurried up to the much more comfortable bed, climbing on it and settling to lick it’s paws.
The latter took his time making it to his own darker chaise, standing before the full body mirror, which emanated light.

He did not sit like his reflection had, he stood there, watching the man on the other side of the mirror. His gaze examined the reflection, the sleeping face (Had he drifted off waiting for him?), carefully trying to spot any differences. There were none.
They were identical, Light and Dark, yet so different. One could not be without the other, yet not once had they truly met in person.

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  1. Avatar gĀ²LaPianistaIrlandesa

    Hm. Perhaps you should make it a bit clearer right off the bat that Darkness is a cat, or at least something like one. Maybe you could say “The cat-like Darkness” or “feline Darkness.”

    Again, most intriguing. I’ll be interested to see what goes down after this.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Yes, it does wind up a little hard to follow, but it does have a nice thoughtful, philosophical sort of feel to it.

  3. Avatar April Raines

    I got the cat reference quick enough.

    Only issues – the first three sentences could easily be one paragraph if you wanted, and I’m not a big fan of brackets, commas work just as well. :)

    It’s a nice mellow, thoughtful piece.

  4. Avatar Samantha Lau

    g2 > I was about to comment a bit more on the cat issue, but I felt it would maybe seem too repetitive if I pointed out more plainly that it was a cat. I do like “feline Darkness” though.

    THX > On the cat issue, or generally speaking? :P

    April > I was pretty sure I’d set it as paragraph initially at least, maybe on some reediting I hit a key I shouldn’t have. You’re right though, seems much better as paragraph. Thanks!
    I’m not much into brackets myself but I sometimes overcrowd with commas, so… brackets this time around. ;)

  5. Avatar Cary

    I like the mild mystery of what exactly they are. Paws could mean many things.

    There are a couple places the wording could be streamlined a bit to make it flow better.

    For what it’s worth, I didn’t find the story confusing or hard to follow. It has a nice, vaguely Gaiman-esque quality to it.

Inspired by

A comfortable chaise lounge was set before the fully body mirror, complete with fluffy pillows and a blanket, all in clear colors. It was Lig...

The Light by Samantha Lau

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